Parenting Skills – How Good Are Yours?

Lorrette — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 07:59:16 +0000

Parenting Skills - How Good Are Yours?

If You Are Raising Children, your Parenting Skills Expertise is a fundamental ingredient for this ‘Job’

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Generally, it is only when we become parents we realize the ‘awful truth’. There is no ‘How to Operate Manual’. We find out after having second and thirds that they each ‘perform and behave differently’, regardless of their upbringing and environment. Oh, and the other rude shock? - our parents had to run this gauntlet blindly as well.

Maternal instinct, we find out, does not mean everything will just come naturally. But hey, we are at the point of no return, there is no going back, so what do we do? We take the initiative and seek to learn and understand what we can from friends, peers, books or advice from other suitably qualified people. If some of us are prepared to be entirely honest, we admit to preferring not to use the same parenting techniques used by our own parents - we were and are going to do this OUR WAY!!

Having trail-blazed my way into parenthood at the tender though ridiculous age of nineteen; I needed help and lashings of it. Somehow, thank God I survived the ordeal, emerging with many of the obligatory bumps, bruises, scars and life altering perceptions.

Recently my own children dipped their toes into the parental minefield and asked me for advice. This sparked my reflection on some of the counsel I was given and some of the hair-raising mistakes I made. Over a coffee my daughter and I took on the challenge to put together what we thought to be some vital steps parents should follow:

Don’t compromise when it comes to the rules of the game - for the game to be educative its rules must be respected. Before you impose rules, consider the age of the child.

Don’t use guilt trips - guilt is not an appropriate feeling for children, especially when they are young.

Never use bribes - example, if you are trying to get children to learn by bribing them with money, they will fail to understand the importance of learning. They will only get from this – ‘the importance of money’.

Never make small children promise anything - small children can’t hold promises so don’t force them to lie and then punish them because they did not keep their promise.

You should not underestimate your children - they understand more than you think they do. If you think poorly of them, they will believe you and this may impact their development.

Try not to keep children on too short a leash - to grow up normally children need some space, some freedom.

Never use big words or too many words when you are talking to children - keep it simple and concise so they can get a clear understanding of what you are saying.

Do not use threats - children love a challenge and once threatened they may go on and do exactly what they were not supposed to just to test their ‘escape the punishment skills’.

Don’t demand or expect immediate and blind obedience - children have to be taught how to think for themselves - not how to follow orders.

Try hard not to over indulge - this could promote the development of compartmental disorders.

Don’t ‘say it’ or ‘order it’ if you don’t mean it - if you do not take it seriously then neither will your children.

Don’t compromise when it comes to the rules of the game - for the game to be educative its rules must be respected. Before you impose rules, consider the age of the child.

Settling upon an attitude and strategy for the education and growth of your children will support your efforts to give them what they need to properly develop, both emotional and physically.

Prof. Ken Robinson on Child Creativity

I recently read an article about a video where Sir Ken Robinson discusses creating an education system that nurtures creativity, rather than undermining it. He highlighted how in many ways the schooling system fails to recognize the talents of many pupils. He strongly believes that we are educating pupils and children out of their creativity.

His video presentation is as entertaining as it is informative, a very good and worthwhile watch. Click here to see Ken Robinson video

So, do we need to ask -

What are we doing?
Are we over indulging or under indulging our childrens demonstrations of ability at whatever level they may be?
Are we knowingly or unknowingly causing them to be held back from their true potential?

To add more food to your thoughts on the subject, I recently discovered the video below over at JuiceBoxJungle.com titled 'You're Not So Special' that is worthwhile watching.

Lets us know your thoughts and tips on good parenting skills. Leave a comment or email us to have your story, thoughts and tips featured.

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Happy Parenting!

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Everyday Life Screw-Ups at Daily Screw-Ups by Lorrette Young » parenting skills

Parenting Skills – How Good Are Yours?

Parenting Skills - How Good Are Yours?

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