Annoying cat behavior and the moggy with a

mind of its own!

Do I agree with this statement above - Annoying Cat Behavior? Hardly! Well to be fair,  its the word 'mind' that I question.  Don't get me wrong, I am an avid cat (Moggy) lover, but you have to ask yourself if these sometimes annoying cat friends of ours have any brains at all with some of the things they do ... like playing in toilet bowls, chasing their own shadows, freaking out at the sight of their own shadows, getting stuck in fish bowls, to name a few.

A frequent complaint from owners (myself included) of  annoying felines is about their ability to switch you off  and out of their world and space in a  furry purry instant, and then ... not only will they set about to completely ignore you, they develop this snooty  'oh phuleeese, not now' attitude to boot!

So Why Did Most Of Us Get Ourselves An Annoying Cat In

The First Place?

Let me ask you this, did you invest in this 'highly opinionated fur ball' just so it could lay around on your best jumper, suit, leather lounge etc all day and deposit furry calling cards especially for you?

Or, perhaps you just plain luv 'em anyway!  Maybe you inherited the cat from a relative or someone who secretly did not like you ...??? Or maybe the kids wanted an annoying cat and you knew they would hold their breath till they turned blue if you did not agree! ... Questions, questions, questions and all about the same annoying subject - 'annoying cat behavior'.

Aha, OR ... was it because someone told you if you had a cat ... YOU WOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER ....EVER.... HAVE MICE!!!

Yes ... that was it, wasn't it? Yes of course, and that dear readers,  is exactly the reason that this unsuspecting, feline loving, annoying cat loving person made their decision .... AND ...

LOOK WHAT HAPPENED .... could this not truly be considered as a classic example of ....'Annoying Cat Behavior'

So, what indeed was the end result for this poor misguided 'moggy'?  I guess he should have seen it coming ....

FOR  SALE  :

One  'Totally Useless and Annoying Cat'

Celebrate Life With One Enormous .... Purrrrrr!!

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Mark A Cella - The Greatest Man To Have

Ever Lived

by Mark A Cella

I only met Mark A Cella once and this is what i discovered...

On Careers: Find out what it is in life that you don't do well, and then don't do that thing.

On Rollerblading: Uh NO.

On Life: It's never to early to start beefing up your obituary.

On the Two-Party System: The after party is the one you want to attend.

Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.

He never says something tastes like chicken, not even chicken.

Alien abductors have asked him to probe them.

If he were to give you directions, you'd never get lost and you'd arrive at least five minutes early.

His legend precedes him, the way lightning precedes thunder.

Mark A. Cella has amassed an incredibly large DVD library, and it is said that he never once alphabetized it.

He could disarm you with his looks, or his hands, either way.

He can speak French in Russian. The ingredients of his tacos refuse to fall from the shell.

If he says it will cost an arm and a leg, it will.

See those nuts, they're there to make us thirsty, while I don't like being coerced, in this case I shall make an exception.

The things you have heard about me are all true... It is true that I lived in a cave one summer in the hills of the Serengeti after being gifted a wife by a local tribe leader.

Image by Darwin Bell via Flickr

It is true that I owned three sports cars and that I wrecked five, and that I taught a horse to read my email for me.

He lives by the motto "safety third."

His blood smells like cologne. His hands feel like rich brown suede.

In my opinion ...

Mark A Cella is the Greatest, or Most Interesting Man to

Have Ever Lived.

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5 iPhone Apps for the Practical Joker

By Louise Baker

iFart
This whoopee cushion application is perhaps the most well-known of the practical joke applications. For only 99 cents, about the cost of a real whoopee cushion, you can have a digital version to take with you anywhere. But even better than the rubber version, the iPhone app requires no air to blow it up, and it is much more difficult to spot. You can set your phone right on the table and no one will ever suspect it.

AudioMicro
This sound effect generator application is a great tool for a variety of practical jokes. Because this app was created for professional sound effects purposes, you can generate real-sounding gunfire with just the touch of a button. AudioMicro has over 500 effects, so you can use it again and again to cause a commotion.

A-MA-ZING
This app is essentially an iPhone version of a classic email practical joke where recipients are told to stare at their screens to see an eye trick, and a scary face pops out to surprise them. A-MA-ZING looks like a basic maze for your friends to solve, but while their eyes are intent on the screen, you can program the app to display the same scary face trick or you can Rick-roll them! The app will play the "Never Gonna Give You Up" video by Rick Astley for a great practical joke.

Prankboard: Mr. Rogers
In the old days, prank calls starting with “Is your refrigerator running?” were at the height of creativity. But with caller ID, pulling off a successful prank call is much more difficult. Prankboard: Mr. Rogers does the work of disguising your voice for you, so you won’t give yourself away. The best part is that this app uses a pre-recorded voice so you sound just like the late children’s television star Mr. Rogers.

Pranktionary
While the four previous applications are one-time deals unless your friends are extremely gullible and will fall for them twice, Pranktionary offers an abundance of practical joking ideas. This app gives you different suggestions for traditional jokes and some more creative ideas, along with the tools to do them. Imagine the confusion and frustration of your friends when you tap your phone against theirs and they are suddenly unable to answer calls!

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Doctor Funny Comedian Can Heal You

by Erin Garcia

A Funny Comedian as your doctor? This might appear, excuse the particular pun, funny, but there is some reality for it.
If the comic is really good, she will make you guffaw real hard. This is when the health advantages come in. Study results indicate that, right after exposure to laughter, there's a general rise in actions within the immune system.
Specifically it demonstrated that laughing out loud elevated the number and activity level of the particular normal killer cells designed to attack bad cells like most cancers.
Furthermore, it elevated the particular antibody which combats upper respiratory tract infections. Furthermore, this elevated the levels of gamma interferon, a protein which activates various aspects of the immunity process.

The final results of the study also reinforced investigation showing a general decline in anxiety hormones that tighten blood vessels and suppress defense activity. They were proven to reduce within the study group exposed to laughter.
Research has discovered that just anticipating laughter can provide actual physical rewards. Many people in the study were advised three days ahead of time they were going to be presented a humorous film. Before the movie actually began, blood sucked from these people revealed they by now had a 27% increase in the body's hormones called beta-endorphins.

Beta-endorphins are potent, but natural, pain suppressants.
Humor allows an individual to forget regarding aches and pains such as cramps, arthritis, and so on. Quite surprisingly, laugher can trim down blood pressure levels too. Many studies have proved that people battling with blood pressure laugh extremely rarely. Almost always anxiety is the top cause of health issues such as high blood pressure. This is when laughter comes for your assistance.
This assuages stress which in turn regularizes the blood pressure level readings to a great degree. Have a glowing and healthy skin color by laughing a lot more.

The more you laugh, the happier you often become from within, which shows on your skin as well. Laughing assures adequate source of air and bloodstream to the face which may contribute to a glowing and gorgeous complexion. Therefore, chuckle much more and you may effortlessly display your perfect complexion. Nevertheless, you can't rely on laughter and then resolve skin woes such as zits. For this, you have to apply successful acne remedy items like clear pores face defense program.

A Funny Comedian doesn't only help repair your body, she can fix lots of things. Laughter is also a great way to reduce discord inside your relationships. When you are getting into a heated discussion along with your co-worker, try throwing in some light-hearted laughter. It will be difficult for you to keep mad at each other when you are both laughing.
Instead of losing time being upset when you commit a mistake, learn how to laugh at yourself. This helps increase your confidence levels and can aid you in living a more balanced life. You may make laughter a part of your daily lifestyle by watching funny shows, reading through funny books, getting around people who help make you laugh or playing funny games with the family. Frequent rounds of hearty laughter can help you live longer, fight depression, develop self-confidence and improve your interactions. You can transform your life today, by making laughter a part of your everyday routine.

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A Gift From God

by Arthur N. Miles

Gelotology is the study of laughter, and as such can involve a consideration of the philosophical bases for humor. But gelotology is mainly concerned with the act of laughing itself, however, and in particular all its psychological and physiological aspects. Although gelotological research has been conducted, its main motivation is of a therapeutic and practical nature.

For theories of laughter and humor in general, we remain with the philosophers and other such "cultural thinkers."
Whatever humor is, it is frequently agreed to be a gift from God, a blessing, for it is hard to imagine a life without having laughter, which would be to say a person without having a sense of humor. And as difficult as it is to explain just what humor is, it's even harder to explain why it is - though the two may well be related. For instance, some evolutionary psychologists view humor as a means of sexual selection by females, as an indicator of other traits, for example intelligence, that do confer obvious survival benefits.

Indeed, intelligence seems somehow intricately linked to a sense of humor - as in the old line about "he who laughs last...thinks slowest." Humor appears rather complicated, but specific aspects seem universal: An incongruity, a mis-attribution, even feelings of superiority. All these require a human being (often regarded as the only animal that laughs), a pattern-recognizing sense-making creature.

What makes something funny often goes against our preconceived notions (incongruity), or allows us to make light of serious issues (mis-attribution), or can even be due to a feeling of advantage (superiority). Thus we laugh if someone shows up for work wearing a suit and tie with his pants' zipper unzipped; we find the sight of a man falling out of a building flailing crazily, as if trying to fly, strangely funny; we may even snicker at a homeless panhandler mumbling to himself over a can of beer.

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HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of  men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

"Bubba, Bertha,  Duke,  Slim & I went for more ammo and beer.

Be back in an hour.

Image by louisa_catlover via Flickr

Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.

I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.  Anyway, I locked all four of  'em  in the house.

Better wait outside.  Be right back.

Cooter

LOL ...Celebrate Ingenuity!!

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Jose The Jalapeno

by Shaun Baird

Another one of Jeff Dunhams unique group of colorful dummies will be the one and the only Jose The Jalapeno Pepper - on a stick.

Any time Jose refers to his owner Jeff Dunham, he has issues calling him Jeff which means that he calls him senor Heff, not Senor Jeff. It has to be something connected with the full Latin accent.

He even refers to him as "Senor Hgrrrreff" (having a tongue rolling effect, it really is the only method for you to pronounce this nonsensical word!)

Now Jose constantly ends up in conflict with Peanut (one of Jeffs alternative wardrobe creations), and Peanut is always doing jokes at Jose the Jalapeno pepper on a stick.

Peanut likes to talk about him as "Josie" as opposed to "Ho-se" - declaring it in a way that pokes totally obvious fun at him.

Occasionally this really winds Jose up and Jose pronounces he is going to employ Achmed to Kill Peanut.

Peanut calls Jose "Little Jalapeno". So Jeff questions if Jose is authorized for being within this country to which he responds, "Si Senor I've my Green card - it's on the other stick". This definitely has the visitors in stitches of laughter!

Peanut then says "did YOU realize he has another stick?"

Jeff says "I had no idea". Peanut says "that suggests that one of the sticks comes out!"

Peanut questions "How did he get on a stick?" Jeff says "I dont know" Peanut says "I kind of imagine ıt had been a horrid pogo incident"

Peanut replies to Jeff "ensure that Jose is appropriate in this country as you probably would not prosper within jail".
Jeff says "Why not"?

So peanut tells people, in a heavy masculine tone of voice "Come here puppet boy! Make your daddy talk". Subsequently Jeff laughs, saying "so pretty soon I'd become someone's controller", to which Jose adds "On A Stick!"

Some of the scenes that contain Jose the Jalapeno on a stick tend to be funny and well worth watching again and again!

Pay attention to this video clip for
(http://achmedtheterrorist.com/jose-jalapeno/) Jose the Jalapeno pepper to be able to look at just just what I am talking about, and also just how funny this actually is. It really is tricky to set into text how funny this specific movie clip is, but you can see this and find out a ton more about Achmed plus Jeff Dunham over at http://achmedtheterrorist.com

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The Objective Of Good Quotes Goes Beyond Simple Entertainment

by Raul B. Yoder

Good quotes are the ones that you always remember

It's not by chance that good quotes stick with us. But it is not because they were by a popular person or because they speak to a certain ideology. In fact, sometimes, we may not even know the origins or source of our favorite saying.

The good quotes are the notable quotations that speak to you on a deeper level. This may mean reminding you of tough times, inspiring a dream, or stirring up an inside joke.
Whatever the explanation, the worth of a quote is established by you.

Stay motivated with quotes that encourage

It is incredible how sometimes all we require to break out of a slump or bring cheer to a sad or blah time are a few words. A good quote can help you approach your problems from a new light and with new perspective. It shows you that you are not alone in facing your troubles and that you can possess inner strength too. It makes a lot of difference just knowing that wherever we are, someone has been there before and made it through.

Joy and joking are mandatory

How can laughter possibly help you or heal you? After all, laughter is not "real" medication and not known as a tangible cure for anything. It sounds nice but doesn't seem like it holds any truth. However, it is a well-known fact that laughing and smiling raises beneficial hormones in the body and immediately relieves stress.

If you were ever seriously ill, you know that visits from friends to cheer you up had a positive effect. The things that make ordinary quotes into good quotes go beyond simple uplifting words.

Good quotes resonate differently with everyone

There is no universal definition for what causes a bunch of quotes to become good quotes. In fact, what you may think of as a wonderful or funny quotation your friend may not like at all. But neither of you is wrong and neither of your preferences are superior to the other's.|But that does not mean your quote is not great or that your friend has bad taste.|However, this does not mean that either of you is incorrect or has the wrong idea.

A quote becomes special when you are attracted to it. Just as we all have different DNA and fingerprints, each and every single quotation will resonate in a unique way with every person. This is actually a good reason to continue sharing your favorite quotes with friends and family. It's one good way to share a little of yourself with them and learn a little in return.

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Deep Economic Talk with Steve Jobs & Bill Gates

These pictures and captions speak for themselves folks...!  I just could not resist sharing them with our readers so enjoy  and then probably snigger, giggle to yourself, laugh out loud or just plain hate the fact that these two CAN ......!!!

Oh Go On ...Celebrate Life Anyway .....

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Some Fun Tactics To Use To Encourage A Collection Agency To Stop Calling You

by Jack Merrifield

If you're like most people, you can probably give someone the basic definition of "collection agency". You might have even been an unwilling victim in a merciless threat campaign by some unrelenting debt collector, yourself. And, you also know that going into debt is humiliating enough, without the added attacks and constant reminders of your failures from some irritating agent.

Wouldn't it be fun to deliver a little pay back - so the world's collection agencies get a little taste of the pie they've dished out to others over the years? Well, in the interest of keeping the playing field leveled - and to have a laugh - here's a few ideas to put into play, that might balance the scales a bit if you're ever stuck in a predicament where you're phone has become the enemy:

"No means No" - If you pick up the phone one day, and hear a mechanical-sounding voice ask you to stay on the line if you are the intended party, or hang up the phone if you're not - then you're most likely in touch with a collection agency.
Now, at this point, you can do one of two things. The first being to just hang up the phone - this choice means you're telling the caller they've reached the wrong person.
However, this doesn't prevent them from calling again in the future. This is because debtors who pull this move, often forget they've given out their real phone number when they apply for credit. But the debt agencies are not that stupid
- and will try again and again to reach you.

Now, you can choose to just hang up, but this is rarely the end of their calls - as so many debtors try this, thinking the bill collector will just "go away". It's more fun to try and scare them, and pay them back with a taste of their own medicine. What you do is wait for the recorded voice to ask its questions - and state "yes". Then, as soon as you hear the agent click over onto the line, start screaming as loud as you can, "NO! For the millionth time, I am NOT this person. You are making the voices mad. I'm telling you now to STOP CALLING!" and hang up. Make sure you answer every time you see it's them, and scream a various theme of your "denial message" each time - like you're indeed, crazy. The bill collector may not stop trying to collect, but he may settle for sending you his threats in the mail in the future.

Just "visiting" - Pretend to be a visitor in your country - someone who doesn't speak the language, or ANY language for that matter. Speak gibberish, mumbling incoherently. And, if you pick up the phone and answer as "you" - don't worry.
Just put them on hold and tell them you're getting the person they want, right away. Give it a few moments to keep them hanging. When you finally come back, make sure you're in character for the rest of the call. Be hard to understand and repeat everything they say in a heavy accent. From time to time, throw out a word or two - like "yes" or "sure" - just to make them think they might be getting somewhere in making you understand the nature of the call, then start mumbling nonsense again. You'll find you're suddenly as big a headache to them, as they've been to you.

Be a "clinging" vine - This is a great way to chase collection agencies off! Just pretend to be starved for human contact in any form, and act needy. Right away, explain how you'd really love to pay your debts, however "your recently diagnosed incurable, extra strength dose of leprosy" prevents you from doing anything at all - except for sitting in a darkened room, and feeling lonely as your limbs drop off, one by one. Then, to keep them captive, go off into an hour-long rant about each symptom and detail of your "condition". Direct the conversation to a personal level, and bore the caller with stories of your early years
- including every shattered dream and your many regrets. If they insist on having to go, ask them for their home phone number, so you can call them back when they're off work - pin them down to a "time" when they'll be available. After a couple of sessions from you, you probably won't have to take many collection calls, at least for a a few weeks.

This article's real intention is to provide a few laughs to someone who may need one - as well as ease the heavy burden of a serious situation. It should help you remember there's a rainbow at the end of every storm, if you should need one.

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Really Good Blonde Jokes

by John Decarie

Q: What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box? A: A case of empties.

Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? A:
Perri-air.

Q: How does a blonde have safe sex? A: She locks the car door.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? A.
You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station? A: The Air Pump!

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? A: Grade four.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A:
"What's a lightbulb?"

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane? A:
She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A:
Pregnant.

Q: What's a dumb Blondes favorite rock group? A: Air Supply.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A:
2. 1 to hold the Diet Irn-Bru and the other to call on 'Daddddyyy'

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A:
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? A: To see what was on the other side.

Q. Why don't blondes eat pickles? A. Because they can't get their head in the jar.

Q. What do you call a basement full of blondes? A. A wine cellar.

Q: Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio? A: She didn't want one for nights.

Q. What's the blonde's cheer? A. " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea...

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Things You Need To Remember To Make Humorous Best Man Speeches

by Clark Ken

Normally, the best man speech, is the lightest one of all the wedding speeches. It is very common for that best man to use a lot of humor, although delivering his speech. Mainly, simply because it is a guy, speaking about an additional man, and most males aren't very comfortable with showing off their emotion. Consequently, they offer to show it off in an additional way, and that's to be a little comical, yet flattering.

The best man means a great deal to the groom. Therefore, best man speeches reflect upon their relationship and bond.
It is expected for the best man to crack a couple of jokes, on the groom's expense. A humorous story, or memory would be a great choice. Perhaps, there were a few points the best guy and groom experienced together that had been memorable, humorous, and a little mischievous. However, use discretion while performing so. You do not wish to embarrass the groom in front of his new bride and family. Avoid any negative subject matters too. Do not mention the times you went partying, or any ex-girlfriends. The guests, the bride, and especially the groom, wouldn't find that to become humorous, it would probably offend them. You are able to deliver a comical greatest man speech, without mentioning him being a womanizer, or mentioning his goal to sleep with all the bridesmaids. Keep that part out!

While giving your (http://bestmanspeechinsight.com/) best man speech, your area of focus should be about the groom himself, and his qualities, as a friend, a husband, and just a person in general. It would be appropriate to joke about him making a horrible husband. However, make sure the examples you choose, don't highlight his negative habits, or anything that is going to make his in-laws, and new wife see him in a negative way.

Even though the groom has been a lifelong friend, it is also a good idea to consist of the bride. You do not just want to focus on the groom himself, include the bride as well, Complement her, tell her how stunning she looks, and it's alright to throw a couple of positive jokes in there.
Nothing damaging, I'm sure her family doesn't want to hear, how she has slept with half from the males in attendance.
That would not be appropriate, and you probably wouldn't make it to finish the rest of the speech.

Furthermore, keep in mind although delivering humorous best guy speeches, that the groom is your buddy. Consequently, what you say reflects upon him, and if you look bad, he does too.

As far as (http://bestmanspeechinsight.com/) best man speeches are concerned, the most essential thing to maintain in mind may be the guests. Sure, you and also the groom may find all kinds of subjects funny in the comfort of your own home, or on a night out about the town. Nevertheless, there is a time and place for everything, and this would not be a time to use profane language, or derogatory jokes. Keep it light, so all the guests in attendance can enjoy it too.
Remember this is his day, not yours.

The key to successful (http://bestmanspeechinsight.com/)
best man speech is to get it written in advance and practice it several times until you are confident. Rehearsing your best man speech a few times would make it perfect. For more information on (http://bestmanspeechinsight.com/) best man speeches you can visit BestManSpeechInsight.com

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Funny Groom Speech - Let The Audience Ask For More

by Jacqueline O. Mcclamma

The tone of a funny groom speech is anywhere between the speech of the best man and the speech of the father of the bride. While the best of the father of the bride leans on the somber and is often delivered with a concerned tone, the speech of the best man is comedic. The speech of the groom is deemed appropriate when it is sincere and formal even while being funny from time to time.

An engaging and funny speech is always a welcome speech.
What makes a funny groom speech a little difficult is the expectation for formality, sincerity, and functionality, but there are no hard rules, if the groom chooses a funny speech, the following could be pitfalls to avoid.

Any wedding consists of different groups of guests with varying ages persuasion and religion. The families of the bride and the groom, friends' colleagues and acquaintances come from different backgrounds. The wedding may also be the first occasion where the some of the guests will meet the bride. The degree of familiarity among the guests also differ. This factor tends to make some guests not very receptive to humor. The best way of delivering a funny speech is to narrate anecdotes that are more universal in experience so that no one feels excluded.

A good practice is talking and welcoming as many guests as possible and ensuring that introductions are made so that there is a certain degree of familiarity with other guests.
Thanking all those who attended (even when this done during
speeches) will be a good icebreaker.

Avoid clichs as well as popular jokes. Make sure that the jokes, one liners and anecdotes especially during the opening sentences must be in fact funny. To gauge the audiences reaction, try it our first with a friend or two.
You would want your speech to be understood rather than met with wondering stare so the tip is practice the delivery until you believe you could do it perfectly. You will need more than several jokes and one liners during the speech but when you could get your audience to laugh at your first attempt, you could easily get them laughing again.

You are the man of the night and it is highly expected of you to assure your in-laws that their daughter is protected.
You are also to compliment your bride's attributes but stay off complimenting about her breasts and her buns. Keep your punch line at the end of the sentence. And then, no matter how intoxicated you already are, keep off the Beauty and the Beast story. Sure your wife is a beauty but she may not look very much like her mother and someone in the audience may just glance at her mother, you know?

At this point your best man must have delivered his speech and must have gotten away with a few good laughs. Rip him down to shreds while being friendly about it. An audience that is already primed to laugh by the best man would not mind you character assassinating him.

Whatever you do though, the key is dignified humor. A funny groom speech is not to outdo the laughs that the best man got away with.

A real entertaining
(http://www.groomspeech.org/funny-groom-speech.php) funny groom speech is half-and-half. Half of it is written, half is how gets delivered. Let me assist you with insights on the first half.

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Bored?  Try A Happy and Healthy Level of Insanity

Breaking News:

Seems Dorrie and a few of her 'senior friends' managed to get themselves noticed by the local police! What exactly do you suppose they were they doing?

Well read on below, no doubt Dorrie's 'Dear Diary' note should clear it all up for you rather nicely.

Dear Diary

I read an article the other day that there is this perception out there that we ‘seniors’ are becoming a problem – seems we are doing odd things because we are ‘bored’.

Well for heavens sake, wouldn’t you be bored if your life was filled with a bunch of friends, who just like you spend far too much time just trying to remember stuff like names, what day it is, where you put the flipping car keys and other stuff you know you just had in your hands a minute ago.

But Dear Diary, oh my there are those deliciously fun times when we have some exceptionally good days and we do so make the most of them .. oh yes we do!!

Of course the rest of world complains and maintains that we need help - like therapy, rest, or locking up! But we do get to laugh at what we can get away with simply because we are ‘seniors’ and sometimes because no-one in their right minds would truly believe we were capable of some of the stuff we get up to. It is such fun … and of course every bit worth it as we laugh till our sides hurt.

Really people, stop being so serious, start enjoying life! To help you along the girls and I put this list together for you.  Go on … try some of  them, see if it doesn’t brighten your day!!

Tips for the Bored : How To Maintain A Happy and Healthy

Level of Insanity

• Sit in your parked car pop your sunglasses on and then point a hair dryer at passing cars....bet you they slow down.

• Every time someone asks you to do anything, ask “Do you want fries with  that?”

• If you are fortunate enough to be a tea/coffee lady for a company, then this will really give you some high level entertainment … Put decaf in all the Coffee Makers for 3 weeks - when everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions … switch to Espresso!

• Sing along 'loudly and off key' in church, at the Opera and any other live shows

• Five days in advance of any engagement, tell your family or friends you can't attend because you have a headache.

• When getting money out of an ATM, as soon as it comes out jump and down excitedly and scream “I Won! I Won!”

• At the next family get together announce to your children and grandchildren that -  “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

• Get a car bumper sticker made up that says “Does My Bum Look Big In This” and stick it on your back windscreen.

Enjoy the Ride, Life is Short!!

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What Is Butt Dust??

Here is another of those posts that brighten anyone's day and spread huge smiles across their faces.  Since absolutely time indefinite kids have made us roar with laughter at some of the  interesting though funny things they say as well as some of the hilarious questions they manage to ask their parents.   Most times, as parents we have no trouble whatsoever finding and giving the appropriate answers. But ....

There are those times when they come out with the most outrageously funny and quirky questions ever -  which by the way, have notably been fashioned directly from something some ADULT has just said!

So this begs the question - What Is Butt Dust? Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!

Try exercising these on your funny bone ... enjoy!!

JACK (age 3)
was watching his Mum breast-feeding his new baby sister.... after a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5)
asked her Granny how old she was… Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties.  Mine say five to  six.'

STEVEN (age 3)
hugged and kissed his Mum good night. 'I love you so much that when you die,
I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4)
had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle… Seeing her frustration, her Mum explained it was a child-proof
cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked:
'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4)
was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough..'

DJ (age 4)
stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

CLINTON (age 5)

was in his bedroom looking worried, when his Mum asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married.   How will my wife fit in it?'

MARC (age 4)

was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant.
Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his Dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

TAMMY(age 4)

was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mum knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked - 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

JAMES (age 4)

was listening to a Bible story. His Dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.'
Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

AND .. The Sermon I think this Mum will never forget:

This particular Sunday sermon.....
'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...'   He would have continued, but at that moment my very obedient daughter, who was listening,
leaned over to me and asked quite audibly, in her shrill little four year old girl voice ...

'Mum, what is butt dust?'

Celebrate Life with Bucket Loads Of 'Butt Dust'!

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