Good Bumper Stickers for Bad Drivers!

by Buck Thompson

If you're sitting in traffic, meandering along behind someone who's decided to take a leisurely drive, or stopped at a red light, take a look at some point at the bumper stickers people decide to stick on their cars. It's a way to pass the time, to be sure, and you can even get a laugh out of it.

Some of my friends and I like to collect and talk about our favorite bumper stickers. In fact we have been known to sticker a few cars that needed it.

My dad is a pretty aggressive driver. The passenger side dash has grip marks from where my mom braces herself while they are travelling down the highway. She bought him a bumper sticker that says "If I passed you on the right, you are in the wrong lane"

I've always driven automatic, but this year, I finally got a car that was stick shift. My car was dutifully christened with a bumper sticker that read, "We're on a hill, and I'm driving stick; if you can read this, you're too close."

They make great birthday gifts, too. For example, a funny one that always gets laughs says, "I'm not tortured by my insanity; in fact, I kind of enjoy it."

My friends and I all have teenagers who drive, and one of my friends' teenagers' bumper sticker reads, "I didn't say it was your fault, just that I would blame it on you." Passing the buck for teenagers, right?

I had to get my best friend back for her little bumper sticker addition to my car so I stuck her with "Don't tell me to take a pill, I already did"

My boyfriend is another of those aggressive drivers, and he's been in some pretty serious accidents as a result. His (upside down) bumper sticker reads, "If you can read this, I've been in a crash."

I read a funny bumper sticker the other day that said, "Don't mind me; I just do what my little voices tell me to."

A company van in front of us on the highway one day was travelling slowly; when we got close enough to read the bumper sticker, it said, "I get paid by the hour. NO, I won't go faster."

I was at lunch with co-workers yesterday and we were talking about some funny bumper stickers. Some funny ones I remember were, "Yeah, I'm moving slowly, but I'm still ahead of you!"
And, "I don't HAVE to drive this way. I just want to because it makes you mad."

Other really good ones include, "The idiots who are following me are really impatient," and, "I've lost a lot of things, but I miss my mind the most."

My friend's mom took offence when we stuck a bumper sticker on her car that read "You think I'm a bad driver you should see my mother" though we have been in the car with both of them and were grateful to still be around.

Of course, a lot of drivers are also impatient, and it's sometimes been fun to have my teenagers hold bumper stickers up in front of the back window for those drivers that read something to the effect of, "If you pass, just wait. I'll still see you at the next stoplight." Sometimes drivers smile at that at and it's better than doing something really rude.

Or, "Is that you back there? Well, hello."

"You mean you're running late? Too bad; next time, leave earlier."

"You've got a kid on the honor roll? Me too. (And you're still a really bad driver.)"

"Wave with your whole hand, not just one finger"

"You're driving a car, okay? It's not a phone booth, restaurant, or salon. Just DRIVE!"

I'd like to give bumper stickers to my kids for them to give to their friends when they get their licenses, both as a president and as a way to say, "Good job!" It lets these kids know someone's thinking of them and brings a smile to their faces. A daughter's friend drives a car that's literally held together with duct tape, so she gave him a bumper sticker that said, "If you hit me, I'm sunk; I'll pay more for the deductible than I did for the car."

I also found one for my daughters to give a friend who failed her driver's test the first time: "I didn't pass my driving test until the fourth time through, and if you don't back up, you'll see why that's true."

Less responsive vehicles like scooters or older cars fit well with bumper stickers that read something to the effect of, "I can go zero to 60 in 20 minutes!"

Bumper stickers are a great way to get a laugh, express yourself and a cheap way to say hello to a friend. There are as many different slogans for bumper stickers as there are people in the world and there is bound to be one that perfectly matches everyone you know.

About the author: Mr Buck Thompson likes the idea of using
(http://customizedstickers.com/) bumper stickers to attract attention because the options are endless when devising stickers.

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