Marriage – It’s Not For Wimps!!
Here Is Why
Marriage Is Not For Wimps!
No need for me to use a lengthy introduction to this post ... it just plain speaks for itself.
Enjoy! ...
************************************************
Marriage (Part I )
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and
after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules.
Any comments?"
His new bride said:
"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."
(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
************************************************
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
*****************************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
*****************************************
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
*****************************************
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
************************************************
God may have created man before woman, but there
is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
Celebrate Life People!!
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I am totally agree with sarika, Without marriage human is like incomplete. You came to know about the relations and share your feelings with someone who is only yours own.On whom you can believe.
Deep, but true. Thank you for your thoughts on this seemingly ‘popular’ subject.
Cheers
Lorrette
i think marriage is the great thing in life and i personally believe that everyone should do this but there are two aspects of marriage means love or arrange and in both the condition there would be the same excitement. and seniors told us that marriage is like sweet dish and the person who eat this also suffer and who don’t also suffer so i think its better to suffer after eating. keep it up
Deep but interesting thoughts there Sarika.
Brilliant! Here’s one of my favourites..
Seems that when the Lord was creating the world, He called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Man was absolutely horrified… “Only twenty years of normal sex life?” Yet, the Lord was adamant and insisted that Man could have no more than twenty years of normal sex life.
Then, the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. “But, I don’t need twenty years,” protested the monkey. “Ten years is plenty for me.”
Man spoke up eagerly, “Can I have the other ten years?” The monkey graciously agreed.
Then, the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years. The lion, like the monkey, only wanted ten years.
Again, man spoke up, “Can I have the other ten years?” The lion graciously agreed.
Then, along came a donkey and he too was given twenty years. But, like the others, ten years was more than sufficient. Once again, man pleaded, “Can I have the other ten years?”
And so, it all makes perfect sense now… Man has twenty years of normal sex life, ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it and ten years of making an ass of himself.
Orlandy@Country Life´s last blog ..Flights To France Amazing Road Signs
Brilliant!! too funny. Thank you Orlandy, thank you so much for your valued contribution.
Cheers
Lorrette
If you are ready to take new ground on your marriage then I encourage you to begin working through some lessons from your marriage counsellor. There must be a homework in the class notes which I strongly encourage you to complete.