You may remember an earlier post of mine titled - Dear Diary note 'What Year Is It' - well if you enjoyed that you will just love this one - LOL..what a hoot...enjoy!!

Well, here we go and I certainly do hope that 'she' is not watching me write this..

Dear Diary...

A very weird thing has happened. This person has found her way into my house and could very well also get into yours.

A strange older women appears to have moved into my house. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly did not invite her. All I know is that one day she wasn't there, and the next day she was.

She is a clever old thing and manages to keep out of sight for the most part, but without fail ... whenever I pass a mirror I catch a glimpse of her. And, whenever I look into the mirror to check my appearance, Whoa!!  ...there she is hogging the whole thing, completely obliterating my youthful gorgeous face and body.

Frankly...This is very rude!

I have tried screaming at her, but you guessed it - she just screams back.

If I could nail her down long enough I would insist that she at least pay part of the rent. Every once in a while though, I find a dollar bill stuck in a coat pocket, or some loose change under a sofa cushion, but it is not nearly enough.

I hope she never finds out where you live!!!!

I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I think she may be stealing money from me. I go to the ATM and withdraw $100, and a few days later, it's all gone!

I certainly don't spend money THAT fast, so I can only conclude the old lady is pilfering from me. You'd think she would spend some of that money to buy wrinkle cream.

And money isn't the only thing I think she is stealing. Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate-especially the good stuff like ice cream, cookies and candy. She must have a real sweet tooth, but she'd better watch it, because she is really is packing on the pounds.  I suspect she realizes this, and to make herself feel better, she gleefully tampers with my scales to make me think I am putting on weight too.

I hope she never finds out where you live!!!!

For an old lady, she is quite childish. She likes to play nasty little games, like going into my closets when I'm not home and altering my clothes so they don't fit me.

And she messes with files and papers so I can't find anything.  This is particularly annoying since I am extremely neat and organized.

She has found other imaginative ways to annoy me. She gets into my mail, newspapers and magazines before I do and blurs the print so I can't read it.

And she has done something really sinister to the volume controls on my TV, radio and telephone. Now, all I hear are mumbles and whispers.

I hope she never finds out where you live!!!!

She has done other things - like while I was on holiday she had  my stairs made steeper, my vacuum heavier and all the knobs and faucets harder to turn. She even had my bed made higher so that getting into and out of it is a real challenge.

Lately, she has been fooling with my groceries and applying glue to the lids, making it almost impossible for me to open the jars.

She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes. When I try something on, she stands in front of the dressing room mirror and monopolizes it.

And, she looks totally tarty and ridiculous in some of those outfits, plus she keeps me from seeing how great they look on me.

Just when I thought she couldn't get any meaner, she proved me wrong.  She came along when I went to get my picture taken for my driver's license and just as the camera shutter clicked, she jumped in front of me.

I hope she never finds out where you live!!!!