When Laws Are Funny

Lorrette 1 Comment
Last Updated:: July 24, 2009

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I can't think how many times I have made statements like - 'You can bet your life, the minute I do, say, go, get etc etc.....that whatever it is that I have 'anticipated by virtue of natural law'...happens!

: Image by yuan2003 via Flickr

Anyway, here are a few you may already be aware of - and probably a few news ones for you to add to your repertoire. If you have any you can add to this list, please leave a comment as I am certain this list should be a lot longer than it is. Enjoy....

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease , your nose will absolutely begin to itch and you'll have to have a pee.

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.

Variation Law
If you change lines in a queue (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath/Shower
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone always rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle always arrive last.

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a gym locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick

If you are like me, because you are trying to remember that one really 'funny law' you heard last week - you can bet your life it will slip your mind and you will probably remember it later on down the track at some inappropriate time.

Celebrate the Law of Life, and Laugh