Have Adult Diapers – Now You Are Ready To Fly!

Written by Lorrette 32 Comments
Last Updated:: June 20, 2009

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I have never been a fan of planes of any make, size or description. I am one of those debilitated and fearful flyers that clings to the person or people in the seat either side of me. I breathe in, and do not breathe out until I start turning blue!

I can find, and will use, any excuse not to fly - In Short....'I Do Not Do Planes'

When I read this article by Kerry Smith it certainly made me chuckle but....with the advent of having to fly wearing an adult diaper..well, I am even more convinced that my choice to 'Be Afraid...and Stay Very Afraid' is so right when when it comes to flying.

Scary thing about this is..it could happen!

Please enjoy Kerry's article..

Lorrette

Image by Ben Beiske via Flickr

Future Flight May Require Adult Diapers

by Kerry Smith

"Know the enemy" the ancient Chinese general Sun Tzu advised. The flying public needs to know that they have an enemy and that his name is Les LeGroom. To get up to speed on the subject of Les, it is helpful to remember that this is the man who, back in the nineties, left the sardine canning industry and had airlines falling over themselves to hire him as a consultant. It should follow as no surprise that Les' specialty is cramming people together in undersized seats under claustrophobic conditions. Les'
background presence is once again palpable in the new aircraft deliveries taking place right now. These airplanes have the same cabin space as their predecessors, only this time they boast a significant increase in the number of seats.

Les LeGroom is an ideas man who produces results and that is why the airlines love him. Openly admitting that he would never himself invest in airline stock because of their notoriously razor thin margins, he nevertheless is willing to roll up his sleeves and get down to business for them.
Lately, a brainchild of his has been to remove food galleys from planes, making for more passenger capacity. That in itself has not had horrendous implications for frequent fliers; perhaps it has even been an improved quality of life issue for them. However, it is rumored that based on his advice, there will soon be 50 to 75% fewer heads on board and not the kind that sprout hair; in aeronautical speak we are talking about the reduction of restrooms.

What credence should be given to this chatter? As odds would have it, earlier this year an independent journalist and blogger covering a paper products trade show in Foshan, China tripped over a small display of adult diapers, their waistbands imprinted with generic airline wings. Her inquiries were quickly silenced when she answered that she was not with a Mr. LeGroom. The booth's manager threw a tarp over the pile, saying "This prototype. No ATB orders today."
A quick Baidu search answered her questions as to who the mysterious Mr. LeGroom was and that the acronym ATB stood for Airline Travel Brief. Even the mathematically disinclined can see where this is going.

State of the art seat cushioning is Les' favorite claim to fame on the new aircraft. New seats are now designed to emulate the thin profile of the flip down LCD screens that are supposed to keep passengers glued in their chairs, mindless of their close quarters. Something tells me that the human body is not as adept at fitting into many of the prescribed folded positions and tilts of the new seating, despite the positive press the airline spokesmen are giving it. Sitting in my flexible desk chair and carefully enacting a written description of how the new seats can recline without disturbing one's backyard neighbor, I managed to act up my sciatica and bloody my knee on the desk in front of me.

What is Les LeGroom's vision for the future of air travel?
It hardly bears contemplation. People shoved together in their ATBs, figuring out their ETAs and stinking to high heaven of the sardine oil showered on them by the sprinklers recently installed at the boarding gate. Practices gleaned from one industry and applied to another can have frightening consequences. We might be well advised to tuck one of those funny little can keys into our Airline Travel Briefs just in case of an emergency.

(A Note to Readers: After an earlier publication of this commentary, I received an email from a certain L.L. who politely informed me that I had misspelled his name.
Correction: Les LeGroom should read as Less LegRoom.)

Kerry Smith has been caregiver to senior adults for over 30 years and is the Director of Community Relations for
(http://www.goldenagemedical.com) Golden Age Medical where she is managing a growing pool of information to help inform and support those who are trying to cope with senior care and incontinence for the first time. Kerry welcomes you to visit, use and add to this online library:
(http://tinyurl.com/pmoxpw) Adult Diapers Tips and Tricks