As a Workplace Health and Safety Officer and also having worked in the Retail Shopping Centre (Shopping Mall) environment for quite some time, I have come across some of the most amazing and unbelievable accident reports.

The one I have for you today has been around for some time now, is uniquely Australian and funny as hell.  I do hope that if you have seen this before it still cracks you up. If you have not read it before... then enjoy.

This is possibly one of the funniest Accident Reports around.  This report, made by a bricklayer, was printed in an Australian Workers Compensation Newsletter.

What makes this story even funnier is -  it's true! Had this guy died he would have received a Darwin Award....

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the Accident Report Form where I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident.  You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a Bricklayer by trade.  On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-storey buidling.

When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.  Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tight;y to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the Accident Report Form that I weigh 135lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.  Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the thirdfloor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.  This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone as listed in Section 3 of the Accident Report Form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.  Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.  Now devoid of the weight of the bricks (the barrel weighed approximately 50lbs) I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building.  In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.  This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly.  The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

Image by Wade From Oklahoma via Flickr

I am sorry to report however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and  I then lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.  This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry

K R (obviously, due to privacy laws, I am not providing details such as name and address)

Was this guy lucky or what?

Keep smiling!

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